Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Let it be known across the Front Range, the Ten Mile Range, and all lesser ranges, that upon this most auspicious Thursday,

DEBORA

attains the venerable, magnificent, and frankly suspiciously youthful age of XXXIV

✦

The Realm shall convene

Thursday · 24 September · MMXXVI

At Four O'Clock Post Meridiem

(sharp — the carriage waits for no one, not even Her Excellency)

Her Titles & Honours

To be read aloud, in full, by anyone addressing her on the day. No abbreviations.

🏔
Conqueror of the Leadville Trail 100Survived 100 miles at altitude on purpose, which the Ministry still finds concerning
🗻
Scourge of the Fuji Oshino Kogen TrailsFeared in two hemispheres and at least one prefecture
🚵
Sovereign of the Summit County RecpathClass 1 only. Her Excellency does not need the motor. The motor needs her.
⛰
Duchess of Ten Thousand FeetAcclimatized. Unbothered. Occasionally hydrated.
👑
Defender of the Snooze Button, Protector of the Last Slice, Keeper of the Household's Only Working Sense of DirectionTitles held jointly and without dispute

The Ministry's official chronometer. Any discrepancy with lesser clocks is the lesser clocks' fault.

Days

Hours

Minutes

Seconds

Details of the evening are classified at the highest level. What follows is all the Ministry is permitted to disclose.

TOP SECRET

Nature: A multi-course tasting unique experience of exceptional distinction.
Location: Somewhere in Denver, reachable by carriage. Blindfold optional but encouraged.
Dress code: Ravishing. Lycra is, for one evening only, forbidden.
Prior nourishment: Strongly discouraged. Arrive hungry. Arrive strategically hungry.
Transport: Provided by the Crown. The Crown has already checked the traffic.
Duration: Several hours. Possibly fourteen courses of them.
Confirmed: There will be chairs. There will be candles. There will be no ride profile to upload afterwards.

Attempts to guess the destination will be met with a knowing smile and no further information.

Timings approved by the Ministry and subject to Her Excellency's readiness.

15:45Final adornments. Fanfare rehearsal. Someone asks "are you ready?" for the first time.
16:00Departure of the Royal Carriage from the Highland Residence. Doors close. Applause.
16:00 + ?A scenic journey toward the lowlands, destination undisclosed, playlist negotiable.
DuskArrival. Revelation. Gasp. The Unique Experience commences.
LaterCourse upon course upon course. A toast. Possibly two.
Later stillTriumphant return. The realm sleeps soundly, and very full.

The Ministry humbly, formally, and somewhat insistently requests Her Excellency's reply.